Binge Eating Is NOT Fauzi Rassull

I don't know if I'm gonna make it right this time... You know, when I binge, I binge in a terrible way. When I binge, I binge on meat! You know, I choke myself with chicken and beef for two consecutive days now. And when I say I choke myself with meat, I really mean it okay. I didn't had any salad AT ALL.. I am goddamn surprised myself. Who would have thought that Fauzi Rassull actually stayed away from salading for 2 days! Pizzas, Chicken Wings and all that are the kinda food which I've been avoiding but hey, I just couldn't help it. All I need to do is to place them INN my big fucking mouth and swallow them till it reaches my intestines. The side of them just make my hormones goes haywire.

God gracious, I just had a few slice of pizza earlier when I got home from a concert. Pizza is an orgasmic food, remember?

Although this is my first time binge eating after fer so many months, I kinda felt like I'm gonna be fat sooner or later. I'm so scared. I've been a self-conscious lad for so long now and god, AM I GONNA have a rounded/bloated tummy again? Dang, I'm gonna look like a geek! Everyone is going to name me a geek. I don't want to see a geek side of me. NEVER please. Ya'll know geek is ugly. Geek is soooooo fucking disgusting. I'm super stress right now.

Did ya'll know that there's a disease called binge eating disorder?? People affected are usually overweight, but not always. Like me! I'm not overweight but I kinda feel like I have this stupid binge eating disorder. This happens when you eat uncontrollably, like the food has power over you and you can't stop. These binges are often accompanied by guilt. Then you often fast to try and make up for it, and this only leads to another binge cycle. And I tell ya what! The binges will not stop on their own. Either you or me have to see a doctor, therapist, or dietitian. Binge eating disorder IS an eating disorder, just like anorexia.

I don't need any professional medical advice. I don't need any medical help of any sort, okay. They are fucked-up creatures of the world. They will ruin my life further/even more because these idiots do not encourage thinspo.

Shoot, imagine I binge eat for a month. What will I become? A bore? A bull? An anaconda snake? Fuck them all!

Tell me that's not going to happen. I just don't want to be fat! At least, not NOW. I want to enjoy life -- a skinny thinny life.

So anyway, being "underweight but healthy" does make sense, okay. Are you dumb or just being a poor geek who always eyeing for chicken meat?

Labels: Am I Fat?, Being Skinny, binge eating, Bitching, Fat, Health, overweight, Thinspiration, thinspired, thinspo