Fauzi Rassull: Singapore's Only Male Bitch

Singapore's Only Male Bitch

**AN OPEN DISCUSSION**
(Don't wanna get sued)

Why should I worry in the first place? There is no sucha thang as freedom of speech in Singapore. It is NEVER exist in the first place and I know that. But but but, since most us kept saying this is a blog and it is a platform for your voice to be heard, then, I don't know what to say now. Even that online slut Xiaxue mentioned she has the authority to blog whatever she wants eh because it is her blog anyway! So does that mean, I got my rights too? Whatever.

Let's get down to business because bitching is in progress.

I am COMPLAINING. That's right people. Singaporeans love to complain, right? So here you go. I AM GOING TO COMPLAIN and that's my problem.

And before you idiots start to shower me with confetti and sprinkle gltters (NO ROTTEN EGGS THIS TIME, HUN) all over my body, maybe you might want to listen to what I am about to say before we celebrate!!!

So puhlease, listen good okay.
We ourselves know Singapore is a cosmopolitan and a first class nation. What made us said that? Simple. Because "we" (NOT ME but the garmen) want to be #1 for everythang. Even for the cleanliness of the toilet awards , WE make sure we got it because WE can flaunt it!

We are given a fine IF we litter.
We are given a fine just for bringing "durians" into the train.
We are given a fine for spitting too.
Fine for chewing gums??? Haha

Since we are given a fine for EVERYTHING (money-faced nation they say?), WHUTT ARE THESE???

This is still ookkkayy to some of us. But still, not pleasing to our eyes, yes?

Trust me! You're not going to expect this...

Can anyone or the grassroot members explain that to meh because I freaking want to know the reasons why ''unused'' towels etcetera etcetera are left hanging like that and yet no one came out and issue a fine to whoever is responsible.

Are we trying say, "IT'S OKAY" to do something like that and make it a norm? If that's the case, EVERYBODY, let us all hang our beautiful clothes at any fitness corner from now on. It's free. It's spacious and it's sunny! SAVE THE EARTH movement hurray!

I am soo sure other countries would love to see how "uniquely Singapore" really is, eh.

Like I said, Singaporeans are self-centered living bastards (such a disgrace) of the country who dirty Singapore today. How much I really want to know does a person have to pay to dry their stuff at the fitness corner???? Bloody hell.

So why wait? DO SOMETHING.
Issue a fine like you always do.
Place signboard near the area so that "BLIND" people can see too.

I am so sure lah your mom/maid does this. And Singapore can make lotsa money (profit making?) out of it you know. ISSUE A FINE!!!!!! Take our money and use it for some future "investment" shits.

Labels: Bitching, Open Discussion, Singapore News, Uniquely Singapore

A380 Has Been Lego-ed

What is there not to be proud of about my country, Singapore? Tell me people. No, I'm not bragging in anyway because I don't feel like to. But that does not mean, I'm not good at it, okay. So anyway, I stumbled across a blog [click] earlier and decided to leave my shit there for awhile to read an article which really..... how shall I put it in words, eh? Errr, really amazed me for some reasons.

Everyone knows about Singapore's achievements. I know what 's going on with Singapore myself. So don't try to make it sound either like I'm stupid or dumb, okay.

Talk about A380, the world largest passenger plane. Some of you, the lucky ones, got your butt on the plane before. You're goddamn lucky!!! Well as for some, took their time to catch a glimspe of it at Terminal 3 the other time. Look how typical you were. Hahahaha.

Ask me when will be my turn to fly on that A380?
answer: "Not so soon, hun. I'll give everyone out there the opportunity first."

photo courtesy: [click]
Let us look at the photo above. Those humans looks bigger than the plane itself, eh? Well, it's not because the plane took slimming pills ya'll. Apparently, some smartass a.k.a Lego specialists took well over 600 fucking hours to get it all done; intepreting the real thang into a Lego-ed form. How about that?

I'm still amazed.

Labels: A380, SIA, Singapore, Singapore Blog, Singapore News, Uniquely Singapore, Views

The Town Story

I went to town the other day and I found this shop located somewhere at level 3 of Far East – Singapore.

Ya’ll know, Far East was known for its cheap and super cheap things, yes? This is what I always thought. A cheap place will never be neat or whatever that means.

Get what I meant here?

So yeah, I came across this shop called Urban Junkie. Yes, I was really surprised. I couldn’t imagine how need the shop was. When Fauzi step into a store that neat, he will mess the place and make anyone who owns that place to work but I didn’t. I was being too kind that day. I wasn’t myself. Shoot!

The real Fauzi is super bad and wicked alright. Get that?

Look how need it is. Oh anywho love vintage things, go in there. And again I repeat; it’s located somewhere at Far East (Singapore) if my memory serves me right bitch!

After that, I saw this shop which I sorta fine it stupid.
Yes, a stupid shop with a stupid sales assistant.
I don’t get people who open a shop and sells small little things – key chains, pencil case and stuff like that. I just don’t. I think it is a waste of time. Anyway, let’s get to the point shall we?

Anyone has been to this shop and you kinda have a close relationship with her, please pass this message to that sales assistant that I SUPER HATE THE WAY SHE DRESS. This isn’t Halloween for life of god!

Oh well, it’s common to see kerazzy girls dressed in this sorta outfit here in Singapore ya’ll. It’s degrading.

Trying to be cute? I don’t care. She had embarrassed herself. She didn’t take care of her pride that well. Eww oh my god!

A super ugly girl dressed in a rabbit outfit?
How about a pretty bitch in donkey outfit?

I think Warner Bros is glad to see this. Maybe they can offer a place for her whom she can act with some other Disney Characters in their latest series, yes?

What is really wrong with humans???!!??

Labels: Bitching, Blog, Uniquely Singapore, Urban Junkie

Why There Are No Sex Scandals In Singapore

I thought Singaporeans want to be part of Angmoh? Get yourself naked and produce your very own sex video. Then, get it circulate everywhere on the net for the world to see.

Have you ever wonder why there aren't any sex scandals here in our little tiny world? No, Tammy that NYP girl don't count ya'll. That's one of the "Most Pathetic Sex Scene" ever.

So there go the "Top 10 reasons why there are no sex scandals in Singapore"...
10. Can't even be naked in own home, how to have sex?
9. Ah Lians/Ah Huats/Ah Meis exactly don't turn the leaders on.
8. Our leaders are cloned; there is no need for sex.
7. Most hotels near streets of filthy Geylang no longer allowed to rent out rooms by the hour.
6. Sex not one of the 5 C's.
5. Oral sex still illegal in Singapore, remember?
6. SPGs only go for foreigners.
3. Kiasee and scary cat - don't want to get AIDS, syphillis or whatever disease you can think of.
2. Amended Women's Charter can bankrupt adulterous men.
1. And the number one reason why there are no sex scandals... Still confused over condoms and condos. What the hell?

Labels: Bi-Sex, Bitching, Blog, Gay, Hetero, Sex, Sex Scandal, Uniquely Singapore, Views

Typical Singaporean: Talked Loudly In Hokkien On Mobile Phone

What's really wrong with Singaporeans? Are they just rude, inconsiderate or what? I was on the train yesterday and came a guy (in his mid 60s) who sat next to me. He was talking on the phone with his loud voice that can turn the train upside down. Even though I have my earpiece plugged-in listening to my MP3, I could still hear him. Just imagine how fucking loud it was. I'm seriously mad. And, he spoke in Hokkien to whoever was on the phone. I hate Hokkien, mind you. It's irritating to the ear, no?

You might be wonderinf is it acceptable to use a cell phone? That's really a difficult question. Especially because the answers can differ widely depending on who is responding to them. For example, if you are the person who is being annoyed by the fact that another person is talking on the phone, inside a restaurant blah blah blah, you'll probably say that it is not polite of him/her to use the phone in such a public place where people go expecting to have a good time, without too many noise or loud talking. But if we ask the person who is on the phone, he or she will probably say that he/she knows that it's not completely right to talk on the phone inside public places but the call was tremendously important, they couldn't help talking back.

Well, for my own experience in that matter, I would say that it really annoys me to be in a place with another person talking on the phone, especially when talking loudly, but I too already had to talk on a cell phone at inappropriate times and places…

See, a cell phone is a relatively new gadget, it will take some time until we can establish fair enough and well-accepted rules for its use. But hey, one should of course, use some common sense when using a cell phone or any other device in a public place. The same way that you probably wouldn't use a radio inside a restaurant or while watching a movie or play, you should not use your cell phone; instead, you must turn off it before entering these places. If you are expecting a very important call, the best thing to do is choose another place instead, a more informal and open space like a bar where you can sit outside.

pp/ss: Please by all means DO NOT SIT BESIDE me when you're onboard a train or whatver if you're someone who talks loudly on the phone. If not, I will just turn my head and fuck you. I just hate you people.

Labels: Asian, Bitching, Blog, Rude, Uniquely Singapore, Views

Singaporeans, Please Don't Act As If You're Angmoh, Can?

I think some do (act like some westerners) especially those Asians who are married to westerners. They immediately 'act' like one. Others who work with or have western friends do put up an act like they're better than everyone else sorta attitude. But hey, I did experienced and got that vibe from those 'western-asian wannabes' as well though.

However, I do think Singaporeans consider themselves as modern and individualistic first before anything. They think and act in a modern way to survive and keep up with trends of globalisation and with the global/local situations/crisis. They think for themselves and their immediate families, trying to improve their standard of living over time.

There is no need to try to become "western" though some still think that being considered as "western" in behaviour, speech and thinking represents superiority. Most people don't. Of course, "western" by its term is vague. It does not signify all positive things. In common consensus, it refers to another ethnic group, the whites, which is different from the Asians and the cultural influences over the latter.

So now, I really think that Singaporeans shouldn't fake themselve or to other people. If you're a Singaporean and you spoke with hella accent to me, oh boy, I'm so gonna disgrace you infront of other bitches. Get it, no?

Fuck those fake accent.

Labels: Asian, Bitching, Blog, Disgusting, Faux, Uniquely Singapore, Western

CH 8 Stars Are Human. No Extra Attention Needed At Funeral

All of us knew by now that MC King passed away, no? And I understood that nearly 500 people gathered at his Kallang home at noon for a grand send-off.

So who actually (500 people) attended his funeral apart from family members, celebrities yadda yadda yadda?

Absolutely right. The crowd also included residents who popped down from their flats, and even people who came from as far as Woodlands, Sengkang and Jurong.

So why did people (basically to those who were unrelated to MC King) came to his funeral for?

They say: "Duh, to pay their respect yadda yadda yadda".

Well as for me, I don't think everyone came over to pay their respect. I mean, some were there to gawk at Mediacorp stars. It's obvious. No doubt about that ya'll.

This is Singapore ya'll. Singaporeans are a bunch of a... a busybodies!! They are a bunch of fanatics and also typical people, not? I have nothing else to say about them for being tooooooo Singaporean. It is just ridiculous.

And what I found from sources (online and so for), one lady actually said:

"For this type of occasion, it's really the more the merrier because you want a good send-off"

What the hell?!!??? The more the merrier?? That's absurd. She could have just say it without thinking for that part. And and and, who were she referring to? To the people who paid their respect or to fanatics/typical assholes who gawked at Mediacorp stars?

Now repeat after me: MEDIACORP STARS ARE HUMAN AS WELL. WE DON'T HAVE TO GAWK AT THEM LIKE WE NEVER SEEN HUMANS BEFORE.

Labels: Attention, Bitching, Blog, Celebrity, Desperate, Entertaiment, Uniquely Singapore, Views

I Won A Pair Of Tickets From Nuffnang

I received an email from Nuffnang awhile ago to notify that I won a pair of tickets to a movie.

Here is the screenshot of the email and it says:

Finally, I realised that I make sense when I blog. I don't bullshit. I don't fake it. So yeah. Any post that was kept inside here for days, months and even years is new again.
-----
THIS IS A BLOG CONTEST YA'LL

Famous Eating Place

As a Singaporean for close to 18 years and still counting, I have witness Singapore's ups and downs within that period of time.

Lau Pa Sat would be my desire choice to qualify for the national treasure. I don't know about you but I think Lau Pa Sat actually holds quite a lot of historical value in it. It was a wet market back then before it was being renovated. Right now, as you all know, Lau Pa Sat has now become Singaporeans favourite makan place EVAR among locals and well of course tourists, serving Singapore local food.

Like the open market in a bustling Asian capital it is, Lau Pa Sat offers a myriad of options for the ravished bar-closer. It’s always occupied and usually busy, but prime time is around 10. The din gets deafening and the service gets a little sharp, but the smells and tastes coat the atmosphere (not to mention stomachs sloshing with booze).

Built in 1894, Lau Pa Sat is close to 113 years old. Amazing, no? I am pretty sure all of us has been to Lau Pa Sat for at least once. Uniquely Singapore's food can be found there, ranging from satays, BBQ seafood, Hor funn or even frog legs (???) etc...

The old likes to go there for a cheap coffee drinking instead of having Starbucks whereas the middle aged people brings their family/friends there to have their meals for a change -- KFCs, McDonalds are so unhealthy ya'll. The young and hyper active kids still enjoyed their food no matter what even though they didn't get hamburgers.

On that note, this self-duped Singapore's Only Male Bitch thinks that Singaporeans are sure to know where to go and queue for the famous food stalls!

Click! Click! Click to http://www.bookofsecrets.com.sg/ to have a sneak peep of the latest movie called, National Tresure 2.

Blog URL: FauziRassull.Com
Name: Fauzi Rassull

Labels: Blog, Famous Food, Random, Uniquely Singapore

What Is Our National Treasure?

THIS IS A BLOG CONTEST YA'LL

Famous Eating Place

Blog URL: FauziRassull.Com
Name: Fauzi Rassull

Labels: Blog, Famous Food, Uniquely Singapore