Fauzi Rassull: Singapore's Only Male Bitch

Singapore's Only Male Bitch

FRIENDSTER -- You never know how lethal it is, don't you ? It is enough for me to eat my heart out and get all sensitive and emotional before you could even say Jack Robinson. It's now has become more than just a thing to bridge the communication gap between you and your friends. "Ow, look how many people viewed me", "Ow, look this bitch put me up on their featured friends". Some people even branded loser for not having enough comments trying so hard to get them from other people. Some fuckheads don't even know the difference between adding and being added. Worst still, there were these paedophiles who love to freak people out by asking some wacky questions just because they can get through our inbox. I could get all bothered, bewitched and bewildered recently just by seeing toot-toot's profile.

See? Even small little things you do, it sure casts great impacts on other people . Well, morale of the story is, watch what you're gonna do and say. You may just gain happiness and satisfaction at the expense of someone's being suicidal because he or she feels unwanted. Yes, I know I sounded so much of a hypocrite who has no life. No, no!!! Perhaps, this is my life - bitch about people, no. You can't blame me, really, blame literature for being so all-knowing or omniscient. But hey, I've got no buts for this.

I just typed this. I didn't think about the style, tone and the like. Yeah I know! It's a holy month but BUSINESS IS AS USUAL when you pay a visit to http://fauzirassull.blogspot.com . Your one stop to the latest "BITCHING IN PROGRESS"... =))

Labels: Bitching, Friendster, Open Discussion, Singapore, Views

No Trash Bins? Then Forget About Clean And Green

You want an update? Well, do not worry. In fact, I have alot of things to bitch about and you better shut your mouth and listen good, okay.

Enough about Mas Selamat
Enough abut Olinda Cho being fat.
Enough about Mats and Minahs.
Enough about "Dee Crap".

That's right people. You don't see me blog about them before, do you? Nothang about them concerns me in any way and I don't see any damn need for me to whine about, okay. Useless and it is of no point!!! Well, at least, Mas Selamat seems important.... to me you especially. I don't know.

Talk about entertainment? Sorry people, the blogging world do not need "criticisms" for entertainment all the time. If you're so into it, fuck off!

Bitching and criticising (is an insult) are both TWO different thangs for your information. And please, do not try to explain both terms to me and try to link them in a way to proof me wrong okay. Clear enough, this is bitching! I'm gonna bitch like I own your world.

Anyhooooo. Topic of the early morning.
What's the point of "Clean And Green" and being "a clean Singapore"?

You heard meh?

Free of litter. Free of junks. Free of pests. Free of anythang.

The government encourage us to look after our country by ensuring everyone to cooperate and throw rubbish to the right place. But then, I don't quite understand why do I need to heed their advice in the first place. No, it's not that I'm challenging them in any way or am I trying to be smart somewhere, okay. I'm voicing out my concern here to the public so that all of us can discuss right after that.
See, this is not just about bitching but rather, more to an open discussion topic. That's right.

I was at this particular bus interchange yesterday and I'm quite amazed that there weren't any trash bins allocated in every corner of the interchange.. Take note, I was holding on to a piece of plastic wrapper with me which I intend to dispose. I looked to the left and stared to the right and oh my god! I didn't see a single trash bin right there. Well maybe, the cleaners kept it away from public use as it was already 9pm at that time? Oh maybe, residents around that area didn't pay enough taxes?

Unbelievable, eh?

I leave that to you, girl.

So what I did to the wrapper in my hand? I simply threw it off like that. That's right, bitch. I littered. Again, it's not that I want to. It's not that I think it's fun.

You know why, hunney. I don't know what is an interchange when there aren't trash bins? I don't get the point. Seriously, you don't expect me to travel 8 feet away from where I was standing just to throw that into the trash bin, yes? Come on.

Don't blame me for littering. Blame "them"!

I don't know much about tax payers but hell, it's kinda ridiculous if one cannot afford to get a trash bin that cost like what? 300 dollars?

Would you rather see a clean interchange or an ugly looking one at the end of the day?

Do I need to litter the place so that the MP will then start addressing and do something about it? Things like this, it's common sense. We want to live in a country FREE of litter, yes? So where is the trash bin, bitch.

HOUGANG INTERCHANGE needs plenty of them.
I swear to god. =)))

Labels: Bitching, Open Discussion, Singapore, Singapore News, Views

Blame Food Prices

First thang first.

I am really sorry for not giving you extra extra useful tips about my personal diet, how to lose another quarter pound of fats without the need for any major liposuction.. It's not that I don't wish to talk about it. If you were to be in my position right now, I am fucked up. Yes, that's right.

I barely have no time for blogging but hey I always try my very best to blog something. Do not worry. I assure you that new updates will be up. Only this time, it will be less "controversial" than before (police are watching/reading it, people). But fuck, I do not care. I'm not here to please anyone, the ministers, police-s, cisco-es, engineers, mamasans etc etc etc..

What is a blog for, when you're controlled to blog what you think it's worth blogging?
Tell meh??????

You think about it, alright.

-------------
On a serious note, I feel that I'm getting fat. I AM! However, colleagues and friends mentioned about me getting skinnier and skinnier everyday. Are they trying to say, "Fauzi, you're gonna die if you remain like that" in a polite way but ended up, being crude? What the fuck.

Did you know how much money I saved from not eating? No, it's not that I'm poor, okay. The stupid economy of Singapore is fucked up. Food prices are increasing. Everythang just increase like that.

And when I say I don't eat, blame the food prices! Not because I want to be skinny and obsess towards American media and all that, okay. Imagine I have a $2 note in my pocket. What can I get with just a $2? I can't even get a food that will impress my tummy, people. Correct me if I'm wrong, how much does a packet of chicken rice at a hawker centre located near CBD area cost? $3? $2.50? And with that kinda price, I won't even be guaranteed that I will get a chicken like the size of "my" thigh.

Am I wrong to say this?

And another thang, Singaporean medias had mentioned about Singapore being the "top 5" expensive country in Asia. Great!

Now ask every individuals out there if they are PROUD of that

Being one of the expensive country DO NOT really mean good here, hun. Fine, we can use that as a "bragging" badge to brag other country.

Talk about the people then. We are the ones suffering.

Labels: Bitching, Open Discussion, Singapore, Views

Kill The Rest

HI WORLD WIDE WEB.

People went,
"OMG OMG. My blog is one of the finalist for some blog award contest..."

What the fuck.

Why do you need to brag??
Why do you have to react like as if your pet dog is still alive, hunney??

You tell me people.

If I were in your bloody shoes, I'll just pretend like I'm not one of the finalist (even if I am) for some blogging award crap. Hahaha. And then if I have won, that's when I will brag. And don't make me brag because everyone here knows I'm good at it, yes???

So if you want me to brag like there's no tomorrow, vote me.

As much as I admire all of you reading my blog, I'll be more than happy if ya'll donate half of your heart and do what you got to do, dear. Do it because my life is at stake. I will die of some "********" disease if you don't. Hehe
http://sg-blogawards.blogspot.com/2008/07/best-asian-blog.html. That's right.

Why vote for the rest when you can just vote me and just me. This is a competition. This is not some "Xiaxue's in search for her BEST FRIEND FOREVER" contest, dimwits. I don't wanna please and make friends with other bloggers who are competing with meh, bitches. Hahaha

Anywhooo, this is the Kween of bitching. Vote meh.
Fauzi Rassull: Singapore's Only Male Bitch.

Ok hunney =)

Remember, you got to do this everytime when momma ask you to.

Have funn.

Labels: Asian Blog, Asian Blog 2008, Blog Awards, competition, Singapore

Kiasu Singaporeans

Wassup with Singaporeans and being KIASU at the same time?

NO MORE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET!
I have a problem with Kiasu Singaporeans. Yes all of them!

I was heading towards Orchard from Dhoby Ghaut station yesterday. It was peak hour at that time. So ya'll prolly know what's gonna happen, right?

I waited patiently for my train to arrive. As soon as the train doors opened, the boarding commuters dashed in without giving way and time for passengers to alight first. Now tell me if that's not Kiasu people.

** Some dashed all the way down from the escalator!!!!!!

What's with the rush and all?
Like as if you will get a sit for your big butt, eh? Haha. Be a crippled-man then. I swear all heartless commuters will shower you with special sits all the time. That's when you will realise many courageous individuals everywhere.. Hahaha. If that's what you want, hunney.

Oh, the "Kiasu" people who dashed in were all office-dressed with briefcase. Let us all assume they were all smart and high-qualified commuters, shall we? **Sigh with me.

Don't just assume Ah Sohs are the typical ones who flood Singapore, okay.

And this lead to my point.
The more high-qualified you are, the more kiasu/inconsiderate you will be. Am I wrong to say this? So Fuck them all.

Even if I am not that higher qualified individual in anyway (because I'm still a 15 year old kid), I have manners. I know what's considerate, okay. Be patient- Patience is a virtue. Have anyone heard of that saying? Well, I doubt so.

If you were there with me yesterday, you could tell that they were the kind of people whom you would classified as:

1) SCARE TO DIE EARLY
2) WHO COMPLAINS OVER TINY WEENY THINGS
3) CLASSY WITH THE WAY THEY GROOMED/DRESSED THEMSELVES BUT YET, A CHEAPO
4) ALWAYS THE FIRST FEW PEOPLE TO QUEUE FOR FREE GIFT AWAYS
5) ARROGANT
6) SMART IN MATH, LACK OF MORAL VALUES
7) HEALTH CONSCIOUS

Teehee.
Interesting, eh?

So spot a true/typical Singaporean! It could be your MOM, DAD and AUNT though. =)

And about the boot incident:
Yes yes yes! I don't wanna complain but it irked me when a bloody idiot lady stepped on the tip of my leather boots. The train was squeezy and all. I was kinda mad actually. She was one of those ass wipe who dashed into he train. I shouldn't have gave her space to let her in. Urgh.

Does she has a problem with waiting and wasting another few minutes of her goddamn time for the arrival of another train? It's peak hour -- the interval between each train is like 2-3mins apart, alright. You won't die by waiting for that long, yes?

Anyway, she didn't apologise to me and I don't wanna be a petty bitch. Whatever. I'm okay. I'm cool. Thank god she didn't used her stilettos to poke my boots. That might cause a major hell. I swear to god.

Labels: Bitching, Singapore, Typical Singaporeans, Views

Famous Through Blogging

You want to be famous like Xiaxue and earn alot of money?

*** CREATE CONTROVERSIES ***
By ensuring that you're constantly lying and do your best to ruin everyone.

--------------
A short blog post for everyone which really make sense.
>>NANG IT<<
--------------

Labels: Attention, Bitching, Celebrity, Controversial, Desperate, famous, Media Attention, Online Attention, Singapore, Singapore Blog, Views

A380 Has Been Lego-ed

What is there not to be proud of about my country, Singapore? Tell me people. No, I'm not bragging in anyway because I don't feel like to. But that does not mean, I'm not good at it, okay. So anyway, I stumbled across a blog [click] earlier and decided to leave my shit there for awhile to read an article which really..... how shall I put it in words, eh? Errr, really amazed me for some reasons.

Everyone knows about Singapore's achievements. I know what 's going on with Singapore myself. So don't try to make it sound either like I'm stupid or dumb, okay.

Talk about A380, the world largest passenger plane. Some of you, the lucky ones, got your butt on the plane before. You're goddamn lucky!!! Well as for some, took their time to catch a glimspe of it at Terminal 3 the other time. Look how typical you were. Hahahaha.

Ask me when will be my turn to fly on that A380?
answer: "Not so soon, hun. I'll give everyone out there the opportunity first."

photo courtesy: [click]
Let us look at the photo above. Those humans looks bigger than the plane itself, eh? Well, it's not because the plane took slimming pills ya'll. Apparently, some smartass a.k.a Lego specialists took well over 600 fucking hours to get it all done; intepreting the real thang into a Lego-ed form. How about that?

I'm still amazed.

Labels: A380, SIA, Singapore, Singapore Blog, Singapore News, Uniquely Singapore, Views

Nothing Unusual

Allow me to begin my afternoon with some bitching.

Yes, BITCHING IN PROGRESS. So ya'll better lay back and keep still while I entertain you with what I've got to say.

YA KUN KAYA TOAST! Who in the world have got no idea what the heck is that.
Well, according to WIKIPEDIA (say it with an English accent), it is a chain of air-conditioned kopitiams in Singapore and certain parts of Asia. As the name suggests, it sells kaya toast, bottled kaya, Singapore style coffee and tea, half boiled eggs and other beverages.

-------------
"The company was founded in 1944 by Loi Ah Koon from Hainan, China at Telok Ayer Basin. After 15 years at Telok Ayer Basin, the stall moved to Telok Ayer Market (now Lau Pa Sat). It was renamed Ya Kun which is the Hanyu pinyin equivalent to Ah Koon. The stall remained there until 1984, when restoration works of the Telok Ayer Market began. The stall then moved to the now-defunct Telok Ayer Transit Food Market. In 1998, the coffee stall was passed down to his children and it moved to a new location at Far East Square.

Ya Kun International was incorporated in 2001 in Singapore, to expand the chain of coffee stalls island wide and regionally. Ya Kun has 24 stalls in Singapore, with franchises in Indonesia, Taiwan, Japan and South Korea."
--------------

Okay, let us not exaggerate too much over Ya Kun's history, shall we? It's not something I want to discuss here and it's hell none of my business in anyway, okay.

Haha. Ya Kun's history has got nothing to do with me. Who would have thought, eh? So anyway, I just don't get why most of us go crazy over that air-conditioned "Kopitiam"? What is it about Ya Kun that makes ya'll go crazy? What is it about that franchise that appeals you by the way?

It's not like they sell something unusual. It's not like they sell anything fantastic besides half-boiled eggs, coffee, tea, toast and yadda yadda yadda which are soo common to my eyes.. Duh, even normal coffee shop near my house sells those stuff. Seriously, nothing and I mean NOTHING really WOWS me at Ya Kun besides being a local brand name with a history that inspires everyone.

First, as a matter of fact, Ya Kun is air-conditioned. So what else do you think Ya Kun is different from other franchise in Singapore (in particular). Tell me ya'll.

If you were to tell me Ya Kun's toasts are different in terms of taste, let me tell you this. A toast is basically, a bread with butter or it could be some other flavoured jams and then heat it. And if you say their jams are HOME MADE which is why they are delicious, kill yourself. Talk about originality? My gradmama does HOME MADE toast as well and it's fucken delicious. If that's not original then I have nothing else to say, okay.

Who are you trying to kid, hunney. Either you're being absurd to have say that or are you just being super dumb to have paid that amount of money for having breakfast there. Ya Kun is expensive if you were to compare it with normal coffee shop, okay. It's a fact.

Oh, what I meant by expensive here is not about whether one can afford it or whether to compare the cost of a toast with your CHANEL bag, bitches. It's mostly about common sense as we speak. I mean, you guys should know by now how much a toast should jolly well cost if you are a fan of it, yes?

So use some sense, hun. The price of rice has increased severely around the world. In addition to that in case you didn't know, the price of rice rises indirectly affects price of food as a whole okay...

Oh well, this is my point of view anyway. =)

Labels: Attention, Blog, Degrading, Desperate, Entertaiment, FnB, Media Attention, Online Attention, Singapore, Singapore Blog, Views

Banning Condoms In Singapore Is Never My Policy

I find it amazing and I can't believe it myself when people think I came out with stupid policy. Take my previous post in an instance. I did mentioned about banning condoms in Singapore. I was just stating a brilliant suggestions. That's not even a policy. I haven't discuss the matter with the ministers yet, okay. What's the problem? Hello, it's just a stupid latex and trust me it's 99.9% safe, mind you. And banning condoms will never make a different to your life, okay..

First.
It's 99.9% safe. You will still get aids no matter what, okay. It's not that you're going to have a healthy aids! Aids disease is not healthy for your information. And I don't see the point if condoms exist when it is not proven to be safe at all. When I say "SAFE" here, I meant 100% guaranteed, people. Why fucken waste of your money getting Durex? Afterall, it is still 99.9%, idiot!

Secondly.
Maybe you bitches just don't want to suck your boyfriend's salty dick. You want it strawberried. You want it flavoured. Come on, if you want to do oral sex, be real to yourself, okay. Face it. Your boyfriend have a salty dick, alright.

Excuse me hunney, the existence of condoms are to protect unwanted babies/aids/STDs/whatever. It's not to be use as a layer to put flavour to anyone's dick to feed your preference. You just defeat the whole purpose of condoms.

Again, my point is base on research.

Labels: Ban condoms, Bitching, condoms, policy, Sex, Singapore

Ban Condoms! Encourage SHOTGUNS! Encourage Underage Sex!

Seriously, I am not bothered about Singapore's birth rate, population and everything. I've read the news and I've heard it almost everywhere. For all I care, Singapore is making up the story. And they are just wasting their time addressing that issue.

Why why why why why???
Firstly, it has nothing to do with me. I mean, what can I do to help?

Look here, the one facing this issue are obviously married people/couples and thank god, I'm still young to marry (that clearly shows, I have nothing to do with it). They knew from the beginning that Singapore is facing population issue and why the hell, all these newly-wed people didn't do their part to help us. If they are a proud citizen of Singapore in the first place, they ought to have sex every night and take our Minister's advice.

We have to be an open minded individual especially when issues like this is concern. Imagine I'm the Prime Minister addressing our population issues here. I'll keep my speech short and simple for everyone to understand. We all know Singaporeans have a nipple-sized brain, right?

In an instance,
"Hi. Singapore is facing population issues and all of us have to do our part so that Singapore will maintain it's level of population. Hence, I encourage each and everyone of you to please, DO SEX often."

See that?? Why is it so difficult? Why do we have to exaggerate the matter? Let us be straightforward as possible. I don't like to waste my time listening to their explanation and waste another 15minutes of my precious time looking at our population graph before they get to their point. That is not needed for god sake, okay.

Secondly, I've always believe Singapore's birth rate doubled by a quarter every single month if you were to ask me and if Singapore still think birth rate is an issue to them, think again. I'll tell you why.

Since newly-wed/married couple can't have sex and get pregnant for some reasons, FINE. We still have our young growing kids helping the nation's birth growth. Look at every teens around us. Don't just look at them. Ask yourself if they are still a virgin. Ask yourself if they are pregnant before marriage. Ask yourself this. We've seen lots of young girls for as young as 18, were forced to marry to somebody that got them pregnant. I can't really comment this problem because it's our culture after all, no?

Hence, the government must never think that our population is decreasing because we still have our young teens exist to help produce and make more babies every month....

Encourage SHOTGUNS!
=)

Thirdly, Singapore's declining birth rate is a cause for concern and reversing the decline is not easy?

Honestly. I don't really think there will be any severe impact on the country's future and the Singaporean identity. And I think the government should stop all their baby bonus scheme or whatever you called it, okay. It's obvious these married couple make babies for the purpose of baby bonus. They take advantage of the scheme and to those money-faced creatures like myself, get a life please!

Fourthly, no point reviving this issue again and again, months after months when condoms are still available for sale.

Why condoms exist here in Singapore if they think population is an issue? Why don't the government just ban condoms for a period of times? In times like this, sex is needed and people are encourage to have sex. Condoms will not going to help. Believe me. Ban condoms! I mean it.

Labels: Birh Rate, Bitching, Population, Singapore

Why Are There No Sex Scandals In Singapore? Boring Hor.

I thought Singaporeans want to be part of Angmoh? Lay off your clothes and produce your very own sex video. Then, get it circulate everywhere on the net for the world to see.

Have you ever wonder why there aren't any sex scandals here in our little tiny world? No, Tammy that NYP girl don't count ya'll. That's one of the "Most Pathetic Sex Scene" ever. Yay or nay?

So there goes the "Top 10 reasons why there are no sex scandals in Singapore"...
10. Can't even be naked in own home, how to have sex?
9. Ah Lians/Ah Huats/Matreps/Minahs exactly don't turn the leaders on.
8. Our leaders are cloned; there is no need for sex.
7. Most hotels near streets of filthy Geylang no longer allowed to rent out rooms by the hour.
6. Sex not one of the 5 C's.
5. Oral sex still illegal in Singapore, remember?
6. SPGs only go for foreigners.
3. Kiasee and scary cat - don't want to get AIDS, syphillis or whatever disease you can think of.
2. Amended Women's Charter can bankrupt adulterous men.
1. And the number one reason why there are no sex scandals... Still confused over condoms and condos. What the hell?

Oh well. Hehe.

Labels: Sex Scandal, Singapore, Views

What About Singapore?

Security is the foundation for Singapore's success??

For real?
Is that true?

Tell me ya'll.
My Grandad is a Malaysian. That makes me half-Malaysian. So I know nothing. Just presume that I'm dumb or whatever right now.

I need a real Singaporean to tell me straight to my face that, that statement is super true!

Sorry granddad for using your nationality.
Although you're not reading this because you're somewhere in pathetic jungle of Malaysia right now that do not have any internet connection.
I miss you.

Labels: Foundation For Singapore's Success, Singapore, Singapore Security